We’ve had a lot of drone activity in our parts lately. Iranian, Syrian, I don’t know…but when the siren sounds, we move quickly.
Today, after we got the all-clear to leave the shelter, I did a little Rising Lion-style fit check. I’ll explain.
Months ago, the head of security gave me a ceramic vest and helmet in case I ever needed to respond to an emergency call during an attack. It’s been hanging over a chair in our ma’mad (bomb shelter). It dawned on me today that it’s been a while since I’ve tested this gear, and that I should probably make sure the helmet fits tightly and that I know how to put the vest on properly. Not because I am feeling dramatic (I’m not), but for the simple reason that there is a reasonable possibility that I could find myself on the way to help someone with chest pain, or a scorpion sting, or a car accident… and suddenly, in the middle of it all: sirens. I need to know how to use the tools I have to protect myself.
So, I put it on. I even recorded a short video – for myself – to take in the surreal absurdity of the moment.
Me. A Jewish mom with a head scarf and long, flowy skirts, who bakes sourdough, who breastfed all her babies, who houses two hound dogs, and drapes fairy lights in the bomb shelter – standing in my living room, checking myself out, in full protective gear – like a war correspondent.
What I noticed:
The literal weight of it.
The vest and the helmet.
Heavy.
I felt it on my chest, my shoulders, my chin, my back, my neck.
When I took it off, I noticed something else.
Relief.
A lightness I didn’t realize I was missing – until I did.
That feeling of taking something heavy off has been in short supply lately.
There’s so much that we can’t take off: the tension, the concern, the waiting for sirens, the “might be” and “probably will be” warnings, the actual sirens, the sadness, the suffering of so many, the interruption of sleep, the lack of schedule.
The readiness.
It’s exhausting.
Emergency services are part of how I show up for others.
But still, the body and mind need a break from time to time.
I guess I’m just reflecting on the weight we carry.
The literal and the invisible.
And wondering what I can safely set down, without compromising my safety or the safety of others.
Is there anything extra, anything I don’t truly need that I can offload?
Even just for a few moments of relief.
Please know that we are all safe and well in our family.
Sending love to all.