Our sages say we should “rise like a lion” upon waking each morning.
I’ve always loved that visual.
Far as it may be from my life experience as of late.
For the past 152 days, more often than not, I feel tired. Like, fundamentally.
Madeline Khan in Blazing Saddles tired.
It doesn’t matter how many hours I sleep, there is a place inside me –it’s not all of me – but a part of me that is downright weary.
Invisible adrenal activity that tugs on my body’s edges and sits cross legged in my core.
It’s not total, not constant.
But it wanders in an around my life like a gnat; it slows me down some.
This morning I rose from my sleep with energy.
No gnats in sight.
I felt the lioness alive in me.
I love her.
I’m not sure what triggered the switch.
Maybe it’s because waking today was a stark contrast from how I woke up yesterday.
(Yesterday I woke to the window-shaking roar of an IDF fighter jet taking down “an unknow ariel object” just a few kilometers from our house. Boker tov).
Maybe its the consciousness that’s born from an acceptance of uncertainty.
Maybe its the consequence of a good, simple day spent with my man.
Maybe Gd just decided to hand it to me.
I’m not sure exactly what it was, but I can say that I entered the day as a version of myself that I really like.
Light.
Rested.
Easy.
Open.
I sit here, writing these thoughts to you (and to me) by the creek near our house as the late winter sun warms my forearms and my neck,; warming to the idea that there is no right or wrong in the ways that I am these days…
It’s all just a big, fat stew of being.
Sometimes I’m up, sometimes I’m less up.
Sometimes I feel strong and capable and energized.
Sometimes I need to rest.
It is exactly what it needs to be.
So, my friends.
I’m raising a tall glass of a clear skied-good morning to us all.
Here’s to ease of being.
To flow.
To doing the best we can with what we’ve got.
I love you, people. I really, really do.
Thank you for being here for me.
For hearing me and for feeling me.
Knowing that I can share messages from my heart and have it received with love and support on the other end is a great comfort to me.
Thank you.