I feel like I’ve grown up some in the last few days. Like some larger understanding has begun to download inside.
Today I felt stronger.
More focused.
Less anxious.
I felt alive today.
Maybe it has to do with the time I’ve recently spent orienting myself to the immediate safety concerns of my region. Tuning into the “bigger picture,” facing it, as seismic as the threats are; I’m better with my eyes open. I prefer knowing what’s coming – or at least to have a sense of it.
Maybe it’s the fact that yesterday was the 18th day of the war… 18 is the numerical equivalent of the Hebrew word “chai,” life.
Maybe it was my morning walk with my wild and amazing, silly and deep, outrageously creative friend and soul sister, Hadar.
We communicate in a way that is wholly unique to most of my relationships. I’m not sure I can quite articulate it, but after meeting with her I was reminded about why Google and Apple put so much emphasis on diverse hiring. When you put different people from different backgrounds and cultures together, you get different ideas – you learn new stuff. Spending time with her helped me see things in a different, more expansive way.
Maybe it has to do with an army-run multi-causality practice course I participated in today along with our local security and medical teams. The act of running through a large scale trauma simulation, with blood (fake), tourniquets, stretchers, screaming; all the chaos that comes with triaging a bunch of injured humans scattered all about the grass. Having basic tools, a frame of reference, and knowing what I need to do should that reality land in real time is so steadying and stabilizing for me. (Btw, if anyone wants to send over a bunch of CAT tourniquets, we could use more. I’ll be happy to distribute them – email me sarahzadok@gmail.com). In normal times, a hot bath and a glass of Chardonnay would it for me, but, it’s war time, you roll with what you’ve got.
Maybe it was the Magnum chocolate ice cream bars the emergency team sponsored after the drill.
Maybe it has to do with the willingness I’ve had over the past couple of days to ask for support for my spiritual self. The need to reconnect in an organic way my Creator. – my desire to let go a bit and trust Him again. I reached out to a couple of my personal powerhouses of faith and asked what they do to keep their faith strong. They sent me thoughts, ideas, videos. It helps.
Maybe it was just a good day. I haven’t had one of those in a while, so, the idea seems novel.
Whatever it is, I’ll take it.
I’m attaching a few clips of important content I encountered recently, that might be helpful for you.
Here is a very powerful message from Rachel Goldberg, the mother Hirsh Goldberg-Polin who was abducted by Hamas on Oct 7. This is her address to the United Nations, yesterday.
Here is a short but strong message from our friend Yaakov Selavan, today.