Wide, open spaces.

I love them.

I am drawn to them. 

The big sky, open grazing lands, and abundance of green trails was one of the major pulls behind our move up north almost 14 years ago. 

I love the freedom of open spaces.

Love to walk in them.

Think in them.

Just be in them.

And.

Now.

Open spaces feel different to me. 

They can feel scary. 

Before Oct 7th, I walked freely, several kilometers daily with Harley, around the central Golan Heights without any fear of being attacked by a human, a rocket, a mortar, or a drone. 

The biggest fear I contend with are snakes on the road, and I’ve learned how to live with that.

I always walk “aware,” I don’t tune out…and I don’t walk scared.
If and when I do feel scared, I pay attention and make a change.
I’ve learned to trust myself.

Scared is not in my top 10 emotional go-to’s.

And.

Things are different, now.

I do feel scared more often than I am accustomed to. 

It’s not paralyzing, but it’s present.

As it should be.

Things are different now.

We’ve seen, first hand, that monsters are real.

I approach all spaces differently these days.

It’s just the way it is right now.

Maybe one day it won’t be like this.

In the meantime, I’ll learn to live with this too.