So many of you have reached out with love and concern. Please know we feel your love. It helps. Thank you. I’ll try to continue with a daily update.

First. Everyone in our family and our extended family are safe. Thank Gd.

There has been some activity on the Lebanon border this afternoon, and the upper Galilee is in a lockdown state, but not us at this point. Currently, there is no state of emergency in the Golan Heights. We were on high alert (i.e., stay near bomb shelter) for a good portion of the day, but as of this writing, we are free to move about. 

We are all keeping busy with some kind of helping work throughout each day. The connection between being of service to others and personal well-being is definitely a thing. 

And… it’s hard. It’s a really, really hard, dark, nightmarish time here. We have no reference point for what we are living through. The level of terror, devastation, and barbarianism is shocking.

The breadth of this war is larger than anything we’ve known. It’s more than a heart or mind can process in a single sitting. 

Thank Gd for cognitive dissonance. 

It has its place.

I went to the supermarket today for the first time. It was surreal. Not only were many of the shelves empty, but so many people are walking around in a zombie-like daze. You have to be careful about offering a smile. You have to look first at their eyes and make sure a smile is appropriate; that they can receive it without it causing them pain. You just don’t know what they’re living through.  Who they knew at the nature party in Beeri. Where their family lives. Who they have serving in the army or other security forces. Who of theirs is suffering, missing, dead.

Everyone has been affected by this personally in some manner. It is fair to assume that everyone in this country is living through some state of shock and/or trauma – no matter how mild, it’s there.

We each find our own ways of dealing with it. 

This has been my pattern, more or less.

Wake up. 

Try to channel gratitude.

Fail to really get that off the ground.

Forgive myself and settle for bare minimum. 

Grab phone (like a magnet). 

Check Whatsapp for updates from my people (mostly about their people, who are also my people).

Read every article on the front page of Times of Israel and Ynet. 

Drink coffee (Shahar brings it to me bedside. He knows where I’m at and what I need, bless). 

Find I am too nauseous to drink coffee. 

Fall apart.

Take Harley for a bike ride.

Fall apart some more.

Call a friend or hug a friend if I see one on my ride.

Remember that although I hurt and grieve, I am also strong, and my strength is needed.

Start to feel strength take residence again.

Walk in the house.

Drink leftover coffee, cold.

Start doing stuff.

Get on with the day.

We’ve all been pretty much taking our lives in two-three-four hour chunks at a time. That’s more or less the pace… sometimes slower.

I try to only read the news in the morning and evening. I trust when I need to know something, I’ll know. 

That’s all the update I’ve got for now.

Oh, one last thought:

I changed my WhatsApp profile picture for the first time since I’ve used this app. I chose a stock image of an Israeli flag with a teeth-baring, roaring lion. It’s totally not my design aesthetic, but I freaking love it. 

It’s the visual version of my prayer for our soldiers, our people, our country. 

Unleash the full force of the lions of Judea. Let our enemies fear our roar, tremble as we reestablish our dominion over our land, protect our prides, and win this war.