Loss is a heavy anchor.

It pulls hard. It pulls fast.

Drops its full weight without knocking first.

No foreplay… It just freekin’ lands.

Some folks believe that time changes it.

I don’t think that’s true…

I think that time changes us.

Not it.

The passage of time just makes for a landing on tougher skin, deeper eyes, and a harder heart.

Tonight as the sun sets in every land, the Hebrew sabbath will unfurl.

A day of rest and peace that is colored a deeper shade of joy than a “regular” shabbat.


It’s a big day, an impossibly joyful day.

As I raise my flames tonight in honor of the sabbath, I will grab at that joy with unsighted faith and set my intention towards all of those in the tight arms of loss…

May G-d bless you with comfort wide and real enough to hold All Of You.

May your darkest places be warmed by even the littlest sliver of light.

May that light heal and support.

May your tears matter.


Maybe by the time the sun sets tonight I’ll understand things differently and the hard weight of this loss will have lifted her grip a bit… maybe by then, the grabbing will give way to claiming… I’m open.

Either way, you are welcome to join me in lighting a candle, and sending a prayer to all that have lost… From Neria, Israel to Roseburg, Oregon and far beyond…

If you are so inspired, please feel free to share your blessing in the comments below.

No need to over think it…. Just lay it out flat.

Shabbat Shalom.